Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Culture is a vital key to show
that
racial customs and traditions of the Correct determiner usage
the
people
. Nowadays, global
world become a small village and multi-ethnic Add an article
the global
people
live together in one
city and I am largely agreed
with Change the verb form
have largely agreed
this
point that it is more beneficial for any country. However
, multiculturalism has some drawbacks also
. On the one
hand, first and foremost, if different traditions people
live in a single society, they will learn about the new culture easily because they are celebrated
all festivals and function together. For instance, Wrong verb form
celebrate
one
research article shows that 80% of people
who are living in the
different Correct article usage
apply
ethnic are enjoyed
their life than Wrong verb form
ethnicities enjoy
people
who are living in single
Correct article usage
a single
tradition
country. Replace the word
traditional
Second
major positive side is that Add an article
The second
people
learn different types of language
with each other and becomeFix the agreement mistake
languages
a
multilingual Correct article usage
apply
person
easily. In fact, it is very hard to learn more languages without living with their native Fix the agreement mistake
people
people
, as well as
when they visit the
other Correct article usage
apply
area
of the world, they do not face any language issuesFix the agreement mistake
areas
as well
. To exemplify, in my Rephrase
apply
societies
5 foreign Fix the agreement mistake
society
family
live with us and they always help the students who find difficulties in the English language. So, in my Change to a plural noun
families
area
most of the students speak English fluently. Add a comma
area,
Therefore
, multi-ethnic
living country is always Correct article usage
a multi-ethnic
blessing
for anyone. Correct article usage
a blessing
However
, there is one
demerit common in all multicultural countries is that racial dispirity
. Like, in Correct your spelling
disparity
the
some areas majority Remove the article
apply
tradition
Change preposition
of tradition
people
do
underestimate the small group of other Unnecessary verb
apply
culture
and sometimesFix the agreement mistake
cultures
it’s
Verb problem
it
become
the reason Wrong verb form
becomes
of
conflicts. Change preposition
for
Such
as, in the USA always white people
discrimination
Replace the word
discriminated
with
Change preposition
against
the
black Correct article usage
apply
people
and ignored them. Thus
, many people
avoid to live
in the multi Change the verb form
living
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
area
. In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
areas
although
, the
multi-ethnic has some disadvantages, I completely believe that it Correct article usage
apply
gives
an immense positive influence Verb problem
has
in
our Change preposition
on
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion