Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Culture is a vital key to show
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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racial customs and traditions of the
people
. Nowadays,
global
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the global
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world become a small village and multi-ethnic
people
live together in
one
city and I
am largely agreed
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have largely agreed
show examples
with
this
point that it is more beneficial for any country.
However
, multiculturalism has some drawbacks
also
. On the
one
hand, first and foremost, if different traditions
people
live in a single society, they will learn about the new culture easily because they
are celebrated
Wrong verb form
celebrate
show examples
all festivals and function together. For instance,
one
research article shows that 80% of
people
who are living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different
ethnic are enjoyed
Wrong verb form
ethnicities enjoy
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their life than
people
who are living in
single
Correct article usage
a single
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tradition
Replace the word
traditional
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country.
Second
Add an article
The second
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major positive side is that
people
learn different types of
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
with each other and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multilingual
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
easily. In fact, it is very hard to learn more languages without living with their native
people
,
as well as
when they visit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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of the world, they do not face any language issues
as well
Rephrase
apply
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. To exemplify, in my
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
5 foreign
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
live with us and they always help the students who find difficulties in the English language. So, in my
area
Add a comma
area,
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most of the students speak English fluently.
Therefore
,
multi-ethnic
Correct article usage
a multi-ethnic
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living country is always
blessing
Correct article usage
a blessing
show examples
for anyone.
However
, there is
one
demerit common in all multicultural countries is that racial
dispirity
Correct your spelling
disparity
. Like, in
the
Remove the article
apply
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some areas majority
tradition
Change preposition
of tradition
show examples
people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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underestimate the small group of other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and sometimes
it’s
Verb problem
it
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become
Wrong verb form
becomes
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the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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conflicts.
Such
as, in the USA always white
people
discrimination
Replace the word
discriminated
show examples
with
Change preposition
against
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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black
people
and ignored them.
Thus
, many
people
avoid
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
in the multi
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. In conclusion,
although
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multi-ethnic has some disadvantages, I completely believe that it
gives
Verb problem
has
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an immense positive influence
in
Change preposition
on
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our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by sejalddhaduk on

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Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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