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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph below shows the total case of virus in ASEAN countries per 10 May 2020.

The bar graph below shows the total case of virus in ASEAN countries per 10 May 2020.
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The bar chart provides information about the covid-19
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
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 in ASEAN.
Singapore
Use synonyms
 had the highest amount of cases,
while
Linking Words
 Laos had the least
number
Use synonyms
 of cases.
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 is the
second
Linking Words
 highest with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total
11.396
Change preposition
of 11.396
show examples
 cases. The table shows the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 that confirmed,
Use synonyms
death
Replace the word
died
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 and recovered In three different regions of
Indonesia
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart,
Singapore
Use synonyms
 was the highest
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
Indonesia
Use synonyms
, Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar, Brunei, Cambodia and
last
Linking Words
 but not least Laos with the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of affected
people
Use synonyms
.
Singapore
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 only got a
slight
Replace the word
slightly
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
while
Linking Words
Singapore
Use synonyms
 and laos got a
big
Correct your spelling
bit
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
. The table shows that
jakarta
Change the capitalization
Jakarta
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 had the highest amount of confirmed and
Use synonyms
death
Replace the word
dead
show examples
people
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 east
java
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of affected and
Use synonyms
death
Replace the word
dead
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. East
Java
Use synonyms
 and west
Java
Use synonyms
 only got a
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
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different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 confirmed
people
Use synonyms
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
death
Replace the word
dead
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in west
Java
Use synonyms
 was the least
from
Change preposition
among
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 the three other regions.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words singapore, number, indonesia, people, death, java with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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