“Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat.

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Sugar
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is now both the state and one's responsibility.In my opinion
sugar
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consumption depends on the person, the state only checks the
health
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of
sugar
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. In my opinion, consuming
sugar
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harms
health
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.Chemical
sugar
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consumption is harmful to
health
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when I say
chemistryI'm
Suggestion
talking about industrial foods. I think you should drink
juice
Suggestion
the juice
for
sugar
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.No doubt all people need
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sugar but
Accept comma addition
sugar, but
a certain amount. There is no doubt that the state should work on
this
Linking Words
issue
Accept comma addition
issue, for
for example
Linking Words
Some might think that adverts of sugary food have been on the rise in the past few years and governments ought to stop them from limiting people’s
sugar
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consumption.
This
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is crucial because many people are not knowledgeable enough to understand long-term
health
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risks involved in frequently eating sugary food and might significantly be influenced by
such
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ads, which persuade them to consume more and more high
sugar
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food for gaining short-term pleasure,
this
Linking Words
can be. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
politicians can partially discourage people from consuming
sugar
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by prohibiting related adverts, I think individuals are mainly responsible for deciding whether or not to eat
sugar
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because others truly have no control over their willingness.
This
Linking Words
is my opinion

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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