IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in 1999.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in 1999.
#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of the people who visit tourist centres, including wildlife
parks
, historic houses and monuments,
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 and galleries, and theme
parks
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
respectively.
In addition
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the near table demonstrates five distinctive tourist attractions where are in the theme park hosted by the visitors.
Overall
, wildlife
parks
 and zoos had just 9 %
Change preposition
of nationally
show examples
nationally
Change the word
national
show examples
 tourists in 1999 in the United Kingdom. By 7%
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
, travellers
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
preferred to see historic houses and monuments. Meanwhile, they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent their spare time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums and galleries 37
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of whole visitors. The most popular place was the theme
parks
Change the noun form
park
show examples
 concepts, particularly almost half of
tourists
Correct article usage
the tourists
show examples
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used
blackpool
Change the capitalization
Blackpool
show examples
 pleasure beach. Other facilities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there,
alton
Change the capitalization
Alton
show examples
 towers and
pleasuland
Correct your spelling
pleasant
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
been visited
nearly
Change preposition
at nearly
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 rate (17% and 16%).
Also
, chessington world of adventures and
legoland
Change the capitalization
Legoland
show examples
,
windsor
Change the capitalization
Windsor
show examples
 had exactly same the number of individuals which is 10 people out of 100.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words parks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: