Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?

#people #society #difference #earnings

It is believed by a few individuals that investing time for developing a successful career is a major part of life, while others thinks that spending moment with family and friends is more necessary. I profoundly agree with the former statement,

however both

Accept comma addition

however, both

statements are having their own importance. Today’s in the contemporary era, there is a big completion to get success and financially strong in career and for the same reason the ones has to pay the cost, by spending less space with family and friends to achieve the luxury lifestyle.

On the contrary

, it is

also

very important to spend moment family and friends to make the relationship stronger and provide a proper space to children so that they won’t feel isolated in life and they could have good up brining and they could

also

learn the traditions thought living together, as we are very well aware that family plays the vital role to build a great nations and it

also

help us to reduce the stress at workplace, if we would stay together and spend quality movement with our parents & family and friends. To conclude

this

both the aspects are equally essential to sustain a successful Life as family and friends are the one to boost us and to reach of the principle of success along with the set goal for our life which is highly required with the best lifestyle.

Submitted by tilak_9213 on Wed May 06 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

235 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?

In the past decade, we have developed new advances in medical services and it is believed by some that in another decade or so computers might take over a vast majority of the traditional medical doctor’s work. Discuss the pros and cons of this advancement and give your opinion about it.