Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?

#people #society #difference #earnings

It is believed by a few individuals that investing time for developing a successful career is a major part of life, while others thinks that spending moment with family and friends is more necessary. I profoundly agree with the former statement,

however both

Accept comma addition

however, both

statements are having their own importance. Today’s in the contemporary era, there is a big completion to get success and financially strong in career and for the same reason the ones has to pay the cost, by spending less space with family and friends to achieve the luxury lifestyle.

On the contrary

, it is

also

very important to spend moment family and friends to make the relationship stronger and provide a proper space to children so that they won’t feel isolated in life and they could have good up brining and they could

also

learn the traditions thought living together, as we are very well aware that family plays the vital role to build a great nations and it

also

help us to reduce the stress at workplace, if we would stay together and spend quality movement with our parents & family and friends. To conclude

this

both the aspects are equally essential to sustain a successful Life as family and friends are the one to boost us and to reach of the principle of success along with the set goal for our life which is highly required with the best lifestyle.

Submitted by tilak_9213 on Wed May 06 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

some people think that strict punishments should be given to people over traffic accidents. Other think that other measures can help more to reduce the traffic accidents. discuss both views and give your opinion

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.