IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #interaction
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Technological advancements around the world have left no stone unturned and has changed the ways we interact. Few commentators are of the opinion that
smartphones
Use synonyms
 impact the social life of people while the rest believe
otherwise
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. In my opinion,
smartphones
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 have indeed started to destroy our social lives as it has become easier to connect with people without physically travelling.
To begin
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 with,
smartphones
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 have opened up a new portal of possibilities with all the new applications available on the internet which has made communication with people around the world easier than ever before. Applications like Facebook or Whatsapp through which messages or calls could be made, even groups can be created by friends or family members making it easier to stay close to each other without any travel.
For instance
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, Telecom Regulatory Authority of India conducted a survey which stated that the rise in phone calls has substantially increased from the
last
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 decade by 50% which in turn, clearly states that social interaction has reduced.
Moreover
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, entertainment applications like Netflix, Hotstar and many more, which broadcast various programs have led to the adoption of a sedentary lifestyle. Many youngsters get addicted to watching series or movies on these applications that they forget to go out or meet their friends for any physical activities like playing sports or gymnastics. They could get in touch with them through video calls or phone calls and get updates. To conclude, the
smartphones
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 have affected our social interactions negatively and made it easier for people to contact their loved one through phone or video calls resulting in less social interaction.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, social interaction has reduced due to mobile phones.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limit
  • face-to-face communication
  • social media
  • loss of real connections
  • distract
  • engaging
  • empathy
  • personal connection
  • addictive
  • isolation
  • enhance
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