The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and ages
, obesity is counted as the number one Fix the agreement mistake
age
treat
Correct your spelling
threat
for
human being health and in some patient’s cause of death. There has been much discussion revolving around the issue Change preposition
to
whether
introducing more Change preposition
of whether
sport
activity lessons in the school programs could be Fix the agreement mistake
sports
and
effective way to control Correct your spelling
an
this
problem. I agree that this
task plays a key role for
any individual’s health. Undoubtedly, one beneficial way to control Change preposition
in
overweight
problem is doing Correct article usage
the overweight
sport
. Adding more physical education
lessons to student curriculum at schools lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
get
used to it as Wrong verb form
getting
daily
routine, so Add an article
a daily
the daily
n
their whole life people cannot turn a blind eye to Correct your spelling
in
sport
and . According to
University
of Correct article usage
the University
England
(UOE) annual survey in 2020, approximately 90% of people who are slim at their Change noun form
England's
mid age
, had routine Add a hyphen
mid-age
sport
programsChange the noun form
sports
in
their school time. Change preposition
during
Therefore
it is well worth to prevent
fatness in adulthood by including more Change the verb form
preventing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
education
in youth. Furthermore
, another reason that we need to take into consideration is that doing sport
is associated with healthy
diet. Educating students with more and more physical lessonsAdd an article
a healthy
,
will give them the opportunity and ability to maintain a healthy balanced diet. Remove the comma
apply
Mr.
Ali Smith, an expert consulter revealed that any individual who Change the punctuation
Mr
are
gained Change the verb form
is
Correct article usage
a sport
sport
Change the noun form
sports
education
hardly ever eat junk foods
. Fix the agreement mistake
food
Thus
, to avoid getting fat, it is necessary to learn how to eat healthy
. Change the adjective
healthily
To sum up
I am of the mind that more
physical activity Correct article usage
the more
education
in schools, more
health it will bring to people’s lives in future by getting used to Correct article usage
the more
do
Change the verb form
doing
sport
in whole life and eating healthy foods.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite