IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
Obesity is a big problem right now around the world, and one of the main reasons the number of people suffering from
this
 problem keeps going up is believed to be the high consumption of fast
food
.
Therefore
, many governments of countries have decided to impose a higher tax on
this
 kind of
food
, to discourage people from eating it. And I don’t agree with
this
.
Firstly
, imposing higher taxes on fast
food
 will most likely be
unaffordable
 to the less fortunate people, which will force them to stay at home and cook their own meals, which is probably a lot healthier, more nutritious and way cheaper, and that’s great news.
However
, there are still so many people out there who are so stubborn that they are not discouraged by the high price, and still continue to buy and consume fast
food
.
Besides
 that, most fast
food
 consumers include not only overweight people, but
also
 a lot of people who have so much work on their schedules that they don’t have the time to cook themselves a fresh meal, and force them to buy fast
food
, even if they know the health problems it brings to them. And that’s one main reason why it is so popular, is because they
are cooked
Suggestion
cook
 in a few minutes, which is so convenient, while healthier choices are not available. So
instead
 of increasing the tax rate, the government should definitely think of producing fresher items for the community’s well being. But if they are unable to do so, they should at least invest in fast
food
 restaurants to put out more nutritious and cheaper
food
, but at the same time still have in it the deliciousness. In conclusion, increasing the tax on fast
food
 won’t do much to prevent people from eating it, but
instead
 they should focus on bringing out more health giving products, as well as making it cheaper and more accessible.
Submitted by royalbanana1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: