IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: Tell your friend about the job and what sort of work,if Involves say why you think the job would be suitable for her/him explain how to apply for this job

#friend #job #sort #work
Dear Peter, I hope you are doing well. I am very glad to hear that, you got admitted to the University of New York. I would like to hear about your experience with your accommodation and life-changing movements in New York. Your parents told me that you are looking for a part-time job to cover your living expenses,
then
 I have some news for you. My friend is looking for an accountant for his restaurant, which is located downtown just one mile away from your new home, you just need to manage his business account. As I know, you are studying Economics and Accounting in college, and you have 4 years of working experience in the same field, that's why I recommended your name to my peer.
Furthermore
, you did your graduation in business, so it will help you to learn more about a business in New York. You just need to update your resume and send an e-mail to my friend. Please don't forget to put my name in the reference. Her e-mail address is [email protected] . All the best for the
further
 steps.Please let me know if you need any help. Best regards
Submitted by Vanurajput22 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea focused on the task prompts.
coherence cohesion
Create more cohesive links between paragraphs to improve the flow of information.
task achievement
Make sure you address all the points in the prompt fully. You provided some details but more could be added about the job and the application process.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to organize the letter into clear sections - one for each main topic.
coherence cohesion
Include a formal sign-off to match the semi-formal tone of the letter.
task achievement
Consider using a more varied range of sentence structures to showcase your language ability.
task achievement
Make sure the letter is balanced, with each point adequately developed. Focus on giving equal importance to each prompt.
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