Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, people are living much longer than before due to the development of medicals. People start to think about the appropriate

age

Use synonyms

of retirement. In my opinion, I believe that it is unnecessary to change the standard of the

retire

Use synonyms

age

the month following July and preceding September

Aug

. There is a huge amount of benefits for maintaining the

age

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of retirement.

Firstly

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, it is obvious that freshmen could embrace more opportunities for higher positions.

Secondly

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, people can experience something that they always want to.

For example

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, most of businessmen could not company with their family because they are engaged in the busy business, so they can create more memory with their family if they can

retire

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earlier.

Therefore

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, remaining the standard of the

retire

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age

Use synonyms

can have a lot of advantages for both young and elderly people.

However

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, there are still have some negative impacts for keeping the

retire

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

Firstly

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, young people need to work harder than before if they want to get promoted. There would be no more empty positions for them if those elderly people are still working.

Secondly

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, some people cannot enjoy their lives because they are busy with works.

For example

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, some people are too busy to be with their family, while others do not have an extra time to have a relationship.

Hence

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, raised the

age

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of retirement might not a good option for both in social and personal ways. In conclusion,

although

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there are a few of the disadvantages of keeping the

retire

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age

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, the advantages are outweighed by the drawbacks. Not only can improve in the personal ways,

such

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as having better relationships with others, but

also

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can improve the economic environments.

Submitted by nicole.yang0218 on Thu May 07 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and '70s, they return home with no experience of the loacl culture. why do you think this happens ? How was tourism diferent in the past?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

TODAY MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WANT THINGS INSTANTLY(E.G : GOODS, SERVICE, NEWS). WHY IS THIS? IS IT POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Many people think it is very important to protect the environment but they make no effort to do it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What actions should individuals take to protect the environment?