IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graphs show basic information about employment.

the graphs show basic information about employment.
#graphs #show #information #employment
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The graphs represent how many disabled
people
Use synonyms
 and
non-disable
Correct your spelling
non-disabled
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people
Use synonyms
 are working and how much they earn
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of disabled
employees
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 less than
non-disable
Correct your spelling
non-disabled
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
, and salaries are lower than too. The employment graph shows, 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 are healthy
people
Use synonyms
 without any
disability
Fix the agreement mistake
disabilities
show examples
. Over 80% of participants at work have several disabilities.
This
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 is very close to
no
Correct article usage
the no
show examples
 disability
percentage
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the minimum
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 have severely disabled.
For example
Linking Words
, they need a wheelchair or crutches. It is about 30%. The
second
Linking Words
 graph is about the average monthly salary. No disabled
people
Use synonyms
 have more salary
between
Change preposition
than
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 other categories and it is 2000$ per month. The
second
Linking Words
 group is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 severely disabled means they have some limitations in some activities. They earn under 2000$ per month. The
last
Linking Words
 group that has several disabilities earn just 1000# per month. It is lower than in other groups.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, percentage, employees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment sectors
  • economic cycles
  • recessions
  • booms
  • demographic groups
  • qualifications
  • employability
  • globalization
  • outsourcing
  • multilingual
  • remote work
  • freelance
  • technological advancements
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