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Writing Samples
Band 7

Schools do not teach young people knowledge to look after their health. Do you agree with this opinion?

#schools #people #health
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The education system does not provide youth with enough information in order to protect their health.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because in the most of schools there is no ability to take a nutrition related subjects and the sport and recreation is marginalised. The main problem is that students are overwhelmed with a lot of different subjects they need to study and they do not learn about important health data. Our system puts on the
first
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 place subjects that are important for us in order to enrol in better universities later and get better jobs, but they don't teach us how to eat healthy and to maintain an active lifestyle. Students need to spend a majority of their day studying for demanding subjects and a school curriculum is left without department that teaches how to take care of themselves. Recent research concluded that more than 50 of high schools have a problem with obese attendees.
Furthermore
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, in todays society, there is
surge
Suggestion
a surge
 in the number of inactive minors and they have very little interest in sports. The most of their free time is being spent in front of tv screens, laptops and mobile phones while the rest of time they spend in their school desks. Only moment they have sports is once or twice per a week and that
last
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 for 45 minutes
that is
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 definitely not enough. A research study done by medical professors found that every human should have at least one hour of daily activity. In conclusion, schools should put more enthusiasm to make them a place where our younger generations can learn the importance of healthy life.
Thus
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, point of interest should be divided between educational segment and entertainment part and more time should be granted to physical exercise in the class schedule.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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