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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram and chart beneath give data about deals and offer costs for Coca Cola.

The diagram and chart beneath give data about deals and offer costs for Coca Cola.
The pie chart and line graph illustrate
Use synonyms
Coca
Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola’s
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Cola
Use synonyms
’s volume of
deals
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 which united different regions and the pay of fizzling
Use synonyms
Coca
Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola
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Cola
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the American Continent was the biggest market for
Coca
Use synonyms
Cola
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 its payment highly increased in
this
Linking Words
 period. More specifically, the most volume of
deals
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Coca
Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola
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Cola
Use synonyms
 was in North and Latin America which was 55
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
apply
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Europe had over 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
deals
Change preposition
of deals
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 which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Asia
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 had 15,4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
deals
Change preposition
of deals
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. The least amount of
deals
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 in Africa and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
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 East with only 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The total volume of
deals
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 17,1 billion. Once more, the price of
Use synonyms
Coca
Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola
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Cola
Use synonyms
 had been just 33
Use synonyms
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
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 in 1996,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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this
Linking Words
 cost increased to 68
Use synonyms
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 in 1997. The peak was in 1998
by
Change preposition
at
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 75
Use synonyms
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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, but the price of
Use synonyms
Coca
Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola
show examples
Cola
Use synonyms
 constantly decreased to 48
Use synonyms
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 in 2000. An interesting point was the cost again rose to 55
Use synonyms
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coca, deals, cola, percent, dollar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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