IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#junk #food #effect #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past few years, the consumption of fast foods has immensely increased all over the world. According to many, adverts are to be blamed for the change. Many scholars have suggested placing a ban on
such
Linking Words
 advertisements due to the increasing consumption and impact on the health of society. In my opinion, I completely agree with the aforementioned proposition and I will explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay why. The primary reason why prohibiting the endorsement of junk food is plausible lies in the fact that they have a huge impact on consumers buying choices. Owing to the fact that advertisements are ubiquitous it subconsciously impacts the purchasing decision. According to studies on consumer behaviour, more than 60% of consumers develop an urge to buy due to the advertisements. In short, endorsing fast-food chains can significantly impact the choices that consumers make and
therefore
Linking Words
, the prohibition will be justifiable action for the
wellbeing
Suggestion
well being
 of society.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the advertisements are uninformative. Even though the companies don’t fail to tempt consumers with their fascinating portrays and claims
for
Suggestion
of
to
 being truthful, they choose not to publish the harms that these foods can cause. Take an example of KFC, the commercials publicize the appealing
food but
Accept comma addition
food, but
 don’t showcase the ingredients which may
consequently
Linking Words
 harm one and possibly change the buying decision.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to avert customers from misinformation implications seems reasonable. To conclude, advertisements play a major role in our eating habits. As discussed their effect on our decisions is immense and falsifying information
in
Suggestion
on
 these adverts keep people in
dark
Suggestion
the dark
.
Hence
Linking Words
 prohibiting them would be favourable to society.
Submitted by rahatbhateja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: