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Band 6

some people think that children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time.

#people #children #time #activities #waste
Many children have extra space in-between school and leisure. Some people believe that
this
time
 must be spent including educational activities
otherwise
 it will go to waste. In my opinion, I believe that children should have the choice and freedom to do what they desire during their free
time
. Today’s educational system applies a tight schedule in school
on
Suggestion
for
with
to
 children. They spent most of their
time
 studying and give little or no
time
 for amusing activities.
Hence
, many parents and educators force educational activities
on
Suggestion
with
for
 their children during their free
time
 thinking that it will benefit them more and help them become more successful.
However
, I believe that spending free
time
 doing desired activities is
also
 very important for children. Students get very stressed at school, so spending their free
time
 doing activities they enjoy
such
 as sports, playing with friends, video games, TV,
ect
..., can help them unwind from all the pressure and improve their mental health.
In addition
, forcing children to take part in activities can shift the importance of their mental wellbeing and makes them vary only education.
This
 can lead to extreme consequences in the future as the child would only measure their success based on academic rather than personal success. In conclusion, children’s leisure
time
 is very important and has many effects on the child regarding the way the spend it.
Therefore
, children should not be forced to do particular activities during their free
time
instead
 they should have the freedom to do what they please and enjoy.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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