IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that the working out is necessary to live our
life
Use synonyms
 healthy and it has lots of benefits. Some people might think that many employees have a few or no physical activities during the business day or the leisure
time
Use synonyms
 and it leads the bad health issues at the end.
This
Linking Words
 essay will address the perspective of the training.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the reason that they have not sufficient
exercise
Suggestion
exercised
 is the busy
life
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, many workers cannot afford to spend much
time
Use synonyms
 for the fitness due to a lack of energy to move their body.
For example
Linking Words
, they must be on
time
Use synonyms
 for the work early in the morning and
then
Linking Words
 spend most of the day which means they have no space for the hobbies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they might be exhausted when they come back home, so not prefer to go to they gym to work out.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some companies might give them the flexible shifts for physical movements. When employers provide the reduction of working
time
Use synonyms
, workers may enjoy their free
time
Use synonyms
 because of an abundance of
time
Use synonyms
 for activity.
For instance
Linking Words
, when they are guaranteed the break
time
Use synonyms
 during work, they might go for a walk or running to improve their health because they have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the corporations should motivate and inspire their employees to have
exercise
Suggestion
exercised
 for the well-being
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the exercise is required for better lifestyle with some advantages. Many working people should be encouraged to improve their
life
Use synonyms
 healthy by society and industries because they have no
time
Use synonyms
 for it due to a lot of tasks to do.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: