The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two pie charts compare the different sources on which
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
show examples
in the USA had
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
and received
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
in the year 2016.
Overall
, the most
revenue
earned by the
organsiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
came from the food that was donated to them followed by
this
was the one received from contributions from the community.
Whereas
the spending was mostly on the program services.
According to
the data, food donations accumulated the major percentage of the total
revenue
generated, accounting
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
86.6%. Followed by
this
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community contributions
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
the
second
most
revenue generating
Add a hyphen
revenue-generating
show examples
activity contributing 10.4% which is 8 times less
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
the earnings made from donated food.
Revenue
from programs, investments, government grants and other income sources were significantly small contributors which accumulated to only 3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of the total. The
expenses
of the USA charity in 2016 were mostly toward the program services the percentage of which was
solid
Correct article usage
a solid
show examples
95.8%. Fundraising, management and general
expenses
were the other
expenses
incurred by the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
charity where they spend 2.6% on fundraisers the spending on management and general
expenses
stood at 1.6%.
Submitted by rahatbhateja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, expenses with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable organization
  • non-profit sector
  • financial allocation
  • philanthropy
  • government subsidies
  • individual contributors
  • fundraising activities
  • expenditure breakdown
  • financial transparency
  • budgetary constraints
  • donor base
  • revenue streams
  • fiscal responsibility
  • overheads
  • sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: