IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All students should study art and music in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #study #art #music #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It was not long ago that arts education in schools was thought to be a luxury, and art and
music
Use synonyms
 classes were cut from the syllabus to make room for more time to prepare for standardized tests. There are many people who are in support of
this
Linking Words
 belief,
however
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that arts
such
Linking Words
 as painting and drawing as well as
music
Use synonyms
 are key components in improving learning throughout all academic areas and is
therefore
Linking Words
 an integral part of the curriculum. People who advocate that
music
Use synonyms
 as a subject is totally dispensable and insignificant, argue that they stop young children from spending enough time on the more serious subjects and passing important exams. As per them painting, literature or
music
Use synonyms
 is a waste of time and there are other subjects
such
Linking Words
 as Mathematics and Science, which can benefit the pupil in the long term. They believe,
for instance
Linking Words
, that for getting a qualified job and building a successful career, obtaining a good rank in the fields of science or mathematics is imperative.
However
Linking Words
, others, myself included have a firm view that arts &
music
Use synonyms
 education helps students’ intellectual skills. It fosters higher levels of thinking that carry over to learning other academic subjects as well as to life outside of school. Through the arts, children learn to observe, interpret, see different perspectives, analyse and synthesize.
Similarly
Linking Words
, arts study
also
Linking Words
 develops creativity, which is one of the top 5 skills employers prize of the 21st century. Pupils receiving arts-rich training performs better on assessments of creativity than those with little or no
such
Linking Words
 background. In terms of musical training, the biggest advantage is that it is an excellent way to relieve stress, which is significant for students who may feel overwhelmed by schoolwork and try to balance extra curricular activities.
Music
Use synonyms
 can, unarguably, reduce burnout and improve mood states In conclusion, even though other subjects
such
Linking Words
 as science and mathematics are important from a career perspective of a child, we cannot ignore the fact, that if students are made to focus on arts and
music
Use synonyms
 as well, they are likely to better learners and recognized not only for the academic achievements but
also
Linking Words
 in the professional life in the future along with stress free lives.
Submitted by reetu1806 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: