IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

19.Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on showing local works rather than the cultures or artworks from other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #works #cultures #artworks #parts #world
Museums of Historic objects and fine arts are the
area
 where society
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 knowledge about the diverse industries and valuable past cultures. A group of the community believes in
such
 galleries,
artists
Correct word choice
and artists
show examples
 who live in that
area
 their effort should be displayed .Not only that, but in historic
exhibitions
, the cultural value of that particular
area
 and its importance should be shown
instead
 of
painting
Replace the word
paintings
show examples
 from different regions. I personally think that going to
such
 a site is only beneficial if we get some unique information. To start with, Museums are the place where the new generation gets to know about ancient times.
Also
, the
people
 visiting from different parts of the world wish to go to
such
exhibitions
 to acquire the importance of that city or town.
Moreover
, in the art galleries if the work of famous artists is demonstrated,
then
 in every local gallery it will be the same.
Due to
 that
people
 may get bored and not interested in exploring
such
 places.
Exhibitions
 located in one place should invite the work of native
people
 to increase diversity in their work.
Moreover
, the talents
also
 get
a
Change the article
an
show examples
area
 to display paintings and craft formations.
This
 not only increases employment but,
also
 gives a chance to a beginner to get an opportunity to grow more.
Furthermore
, to attract the community worldwide the government should promote their cultural importance.
For instance
 in Ottawa, the the craft and historic
exhibitions
 are the number one attraction for tourists. One of the major reasons behind
this
 is, that they are rooted in their culture and sculptures. Including the art
exhibitions
, every week enhances new talents and the economy in Ottawa. In the end, In my opinion, promoting local artwork and culture can be beneficial in numerous ways as it grows the economy of that
area
 invites local talent to get a source of income and attracts tourists to its uniqueness.19.Some
people
 think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on showing local works rather than the cultures or artworks from other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on

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Structure
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Vocabulary
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Grammar
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Argumentation
Your essay strongly supports your viewpoints with coherent arguments and relevant examples.
Structure
An effective structure is used, guiding the reader through your essay clearly.
Content Depth
You provided a broad perspective that covers different aspects of the topic, showing depth in your understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural gateways
  • global heritage
  • diversity
  • interconnectedness
  • global citizenship
  • empathy
  • community identity
  • preserve
  • celebrate
  • recognition
  • support
  • inclusive
  • educational experience
  • comprehensive view
  • human creativity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
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