Due to traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The government is encouraging companies to move to remote

areas

Use synonyms

because of congestion and residence

problems

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, the benefits of moving factories to the countryside override the drawbacks. There are several drawbacks to relocating businesses to the countryside.

Firstly

Linking Words

, their employees may have to move with the companies, which can cause difficulties for people who have already settled in urban

areas

Use synonyms

For instance

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, they may need to find new housing, schools for their children, and convenient facilities

such

Linking Words

as hospitals and hair salons.

Secondly

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, the government would need to invest a significant amount of money to construct new buildings and facilities.

Finally

Linking Words

, the construction of new factories and offices could potentially destroy natural habitats for wild animals,

such

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as forests and rivers. Despite the mentioned disadvantages, I believe that there are more advantages to

this

Linking Words

suggestion because it will address the

problems

Use synonyms

in urban

areas

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and balance development. By shifting corporations from cities to remote

areas

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, it would alleviate

problems

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such

Linking Words

as air pollution and traffic congestion. Nowadays, most urban

areas

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suffer from environmental damage

due to

Linking Words

industrial activities, but if these companies were dispersed

elsewhere

Linking Words

, the area could breathe and be cleansed in a few years.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the spaces left by factories could be repurposed for residential

areas

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, addressing the increasing demand for housing in urban

areas

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This

Linking Words

would

also

Linking Words

lead to a more balanced development between the countryside and cities. In conclusion, moving businesses to rural

areas

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to solve

problems

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in urban

areas

Use synonyms

has several demerits, but in my opinion, the merits far exceed them.

kim88974150Wed Jun 14 2023

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points, especially regarding the benefits of moving businesses to rural areas. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas more persuasive.

coherence and cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Some sentences could use linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas, which can improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

You presented a clear opinion in your introduction and maintained it throughout the essay, effectively addressing the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Your structure is logical, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph that outline the main ideas.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban congestion
housing crisis
economic development
job creation
operational expenses
transport infrastructure
quality of life
spacious living
cultural vibrancy
profitability
infrastructure challenges
commute times
air pollution
rural revitalization
local economy

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Due to traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others think the opposite is happening. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?