IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
These days, a lot of people believe that the science, business and other academic papers should be shared as much as possible with the people;
however
, others argue that some of them are too vital to be available. I disagree that these documents must be kept a secret. In
this
 essay I will discuss both points of view. Releasing these papers would advance our knowledge.
In other words
, if the governments made these studies and researches publicly available, other people could study those papers, and, potentially, answer the question that no one was able to.
Moreover
, they could analyse the data given to them, and come up with solutions that could save money, lives, and even the world.
For instance
, during the WW2, A. Einstein, after seeing the papers for the atomic bomb, came up with a formula that turned
this
 experiment to reality, ultimately ending the war and creating world peace
that is
 continuing till
this
 day.
On the other hand
, the academic words can be modified,
as a result
, completely ruining the study. To put it simply, people who are against a particular experiment could change the words or mathematical formulas, spreading the sheets in
this
 modified version, and misleading people all around the world, or even destroying entire companies.
For example
, when the USSR tried to send a satellite into space, somebody changed the equation when nobody was looking;
thus
, it wasn't long until the spaceship exploded, 10 seconds after the launch. As a conclusion, I agree that these documents, should be available to public because it will develop our understanding of that field, but we should take into account that these works can be modified, potentially leading to catastrophic events, as discussed in the 3rd paragraph.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: