Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that this is improving our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #society #money #possessions #importance #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is undeniable fact that showcasing our wealth and possessions have risen in popularity. Some believe that wealth and materialism

are given

Suggestion

are giving

give

too much importance in our society, while others argue that

this

Linking Words

trend can contribute to a positive progression in our lives. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides of the arguments, and show my support for the former view. On the one hand, those who believe the materialism and financial status should be given a high importance in a society, would argue that

this

Linking Words

is a prominent factor that leads to a better

life

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because it will create a sense of competition among

people which

Accept comma addition

people, which

result in individuals putting more effort to succeed. By looking at

others's

Suggestion

others'

financial status, one will thrive to achieve higher goals in

life

Use synonyms

, and

this

Linking Words

will give them motivation to set their bar higher.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe that there are other aspects of

life

Use synonyms

that are far more important than wealth and money, and those should be appreciated even more. Putting high

emphasise

special importance or significance

emphasis

on materialism, can take our attention away from other blessings we have in

life

Use synonyms

for

Linking Words

instance our

Accept comma addition

instance, our

health and enjoyable time with our loved ones.

In addition

Linking Words

, the society that measures values

Suggestion

one's financial status, are less empathetic and helpful towards others. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some believe that giving too much attention to the financial aspect can result in improving lives, I believe there are other areas that we need to emphasise more like our health and helping others.

Submitted by sohrabizadr.s on Sun May 10 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is required for global organizations to assist poor nations to guarantee a sustainable and healthy growth. It is true that the organizations should provide monetary assistance; while other claim that giving suggestions and practical aid are more beneficial. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own belief of this matter.
<4
band
Nowadays many students are participating in international exchange trips. Is this a positive or a negative development?
This line graph show us the changes in the count and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers.It is clear from the graph that there is two types of food increase respectively over the years and the third one was dropped over the years.
<4
band
Some people believe that school education should be focused on academic subjects, which are good for childiren's future, and subjects like music and sports are useless. In my opinion, subjects such as music and sports are useful and effictive for spirtual and physical development for children.
Some people believe that school education should be focused on academic subjects, which are good for childiren's future, and subjects like music and sports are useless.
5
band
Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
it is indubitable that poverty has become a major concern in some areas around the world particularly third world countries although this is not enough to overcome this issue and therefore some different types of aid should be provided. in my view, i completely agree with opnion that help such as building education centre and medical facilities can make them prosper in future ahead
<4
band
Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In under-developed countries, inadequate infrastructure serves as a significant obstacle to progress and modernization. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by the foreign aid. I disagree with this statement and would like to further delve into this statement.

Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that this is improving our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many students are participating in international exchange trips. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that school education should be focused on academic subjects, which are good for childiren's future, and subjects like music and sports are useless. In my opinion, subjects such as music and sports are useful and effictive for spirtual and physical development for children.

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?