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Band 7

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence
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It is true that everyone wants pleasure. People have differing views with regard to the question of whether internal or external factors that leads
one
's prosperity. In
this
 essay, I will discuss about both factors and conclude my opinion on
this
 topic. Humankind is a complex living, we are not only having the highest developed intelligence among the other living things in the world, but
also
 have complicated feeling. Delight is
one
 of the feeling that everyone asked for,
however
, it is hard to tell that what elation really is among individuals. Some state that
one
 can manage
one
's own feeling,
however
, many people can not control theirs,
for example
, patients with major depressive disorder (MDD) are always in a depressive mood, and unfortunately they can not control their thought of pathos even if they do want to. Eventually, bliss may not be controlled just by individuals.
On the other hand
, happiness can be convinced by other than oneself.
For instance
, money would be a pleasure things for
one
 who love spending on lucrative living, while the other who is a charity worker, money may not make him happy more than helping underprivileged people in rural areas from starvation.
Thus
, it is true that external factors can influence
one
's well-being. In conclusion, personally I assert that the external factors contribute to
one
's glee, and not only individuals have to responsibility for their enjoyment, because some kinds of people, namely, psychiatric patients cannot make the issue of their own, but
also
 the other factors, actually, environment, money can influence contentment.
Submitted by hasekawa.tk on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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