IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think re the causes of this? What effects will have on society?

In recent years, a lot of
criminals
Use synonyms
 have committed more crimes as soon as they finished their sentences.
This
Linking Words
 essay will show that the lack of rehabilitation in prison is the reason behind these recurring actions, and the issue must be addressed urgently to avoid disturbing public security. Some countries don't provide an integrated rehabilitation system in prisons, and they often forget that prisons aren't only for punishments but for education and reform as well.
This
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 means that prisoners are people with bad ways of thinking and inappropriate behaviour, focusing solely on punishment will not change the mindset or character of
criminals
Use synonyms
 once they have served their sentence.
Therefore
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, without exposing them to educational and rehabilitative programs, there's a high chance that they will repeat the crime.
For example
Linking Words
, studies show that without effective rehabilitation, prisoners are more likely to re-offend after release. The most common effect that
this
Linking Words
 issue causes is disturbing society's security.
This
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 is because when
criminals
Use synonyms
 get released from prison and re-offend, the crime rates get higher in the country, which makes it extremely hard for citizens to feel safe and comfortable in their homeland.
Consequently
Linking Words
, individuals will experience feelings of fear and anxiety, leading to their instability. To illustrate, a recent study proved that most of the released prisoners re-offend, creating extreme fear and insecurity in communities and lowering social trust. In conclusion,
criminals
Use synonyms
 require educational and learning programs to prevent reoffending and to foster effective individuals after serving sentences to avoid harming society's stability and security.

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task response
To improve task response, consider offering more detailed examples or statistics to back up your points. This will enhance the argument and provide clearer evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, possibly by using more linking words. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, meeting the criteria with a strong start and finish.
supported main points
Main points are well articulated and generally supported, which showcases a good understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response, addressing both causes and effects, covering the question thoroughly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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