Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believes that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although
it is considered by some
people
that the best way to
securing
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
a good job is
being
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
a
university
graduate, there are others who think that starting
work
after school is a better option. From my perspective, deciding to
work
is beneficial in the field of business,
whereas
completing
university
coursework is the most useful in an academic career. On the one hand, it is attractive to find
work
after school
according to
some
people
because they will have the opportunity to gain hands-on experience related to their chosen profession and acquire top soft skills
such
as time management, leadership and flexibility.
This
results in promotions and a successful career.
For example
, not only has the job market been increasingly becoming competitive, but there is
also
an overwhelming number of applicants for one position in a company.
Therefore
, it is commonly believed by some
people
that learning key soft skills can be valuable to a company and having relevant experience in that line of
work
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can put one ahead of the game when they apply for the position.
On the other hand
, some
people
think that it is more advantageous to pursue higher education after school. Since obtaining a
university
certificate is an indicator of perseverance, passion and commitment needed to study a degree course for three or four years, a
university
degree is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convincing proof of the competence of the applicants.
As a result
, most employers will be more impressed by candidates who have qualifications from a
university
than those with fewer qualifications, which in turn leads
university
graduates not only to better job opportunities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
to higher incomes. In conclusion, even though
people
may vary in their opinions, I think that being a successful career requires
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
relevant background either in tertiary education or
work
experience depending on the type of
work
and field.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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