IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart gives information about the proportion of places visited by three different groups of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that those who are either from English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 or born in
Canada
Use synonyms
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
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 going cinema
while
Linking Words
 migrants from other
countries
Use synonyms
 tend to visit
Use synonyms
library
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the library
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. For all groups, the least favourite place is
theatre
Correct article usage
the theatre
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. In terms of cinema, 70% of the local Canadians go to the cinema , which is a fifth higher than the new migrants from other
countries
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.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by the new migrants from English - speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 about 65%. As we can see at
theatre
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the theatre
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,
this
Linking Words
 place is unpopular in
Canada
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 with a minority of
people
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 from other
countries
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 visiting here which is just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of Canadian theatre-goers .
Similar
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A similar
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 pattern can be seen in
zoo
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a zoo
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, most of the visitors are from English-speaking nations and
original
Change the word
originally
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Use synonyms
Canada
Change preposition
from Canada
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 with 50% and 42% respectively
while
Linking Words
 those
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from other nations occupy
for
Change preposition
up
show examples
 35% of the total visitors
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Library
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The library
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 is the
second
Linking Words
 place that
people
Use synonyms
 from other
countries
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 go to.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 a little more than half of new
migrates
Replace the word
migrants
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 born in other
countries
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 choose
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the library
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library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
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 to spend their time,
while
Linking Words
 40% of English-speaking
migrates
Replace the word
migrants
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 and 35% of
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Canada
Use synonyms
 like to spend their time in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the library
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library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canada, countries, library with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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