Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a widely held perception in many parts of the world nowadays that children should watch

set.

Although

some people strongly agree with

this

trend because of negative effects, I still believe that television is a tool that helps them to learn and relax on a daily basis. There are a myriad of reasons why people might argue that

set is harmful for children.

Firstly

, since it could affect their health seriously. In fact,

set contains a range of amusing shows, movies and music at disposal that attract to them and make them being glued to the screen.

As a result

, their vision would be decreased and cause some eye diseases.

Additionally

, if they excessively watch, it will lead to bad studying results.

For example

, one child addicts to watch

set, he does not have enough time to learn, or even he does not finish his homework.

Thus

, he might give bad results from school and he could not keep up with his friends while he focuses on watching

day-to-day.

By contrast

besides

some negative effects that mentioned above,

TV set

Suggestion

the TV set

a TV set

is the wonderful equipment for young people. It is clear that the

first

positive effect could be educated. By containing a widely of educational shows,

namely who

Accept comma addition

namely, who

is the millionaire, Olympia that helps them widen their knowledge about many domains in life. Myself,

for example

, when I was a student at secondary school, I watched Olympia a lot and I could learn some practical knowledge about literature and history, which gave me the chance to understand about all subjects at school. Another advantage of watching

video

Suggestion

the video

is relaxing. Through watching it, children could be chilled out after a long studying and working day.

This

means that they have ability to enjoy some films, music that make them relieve stress and feel better. In conclusion, many argue that video has lots of disadvantages, whereas I still think that it contains a myriad of benefits.

However

, it is not unnecessary for them to realize the pros and cons of watching videos and control their actions to achieve their goals in life.

Mon May 11 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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