Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some college students state that adding other
subjects
besides
the main courses is required. On the other hand
, others think they need to focus on learning the essential things according to
their major. Herein, I would like to elaborate on the extent of both sides based on my point of view.
To begin
with, education is changing humans to be well-educated and intelligent so they can develop their potential more efficiently and be ready to face real life. The higher the educational level, the more complex the knowledge must be learned. As a pupil, they will be prosecuted for critical thinking and assessed objectively by seeing from different perspectives. In my opinion, that is
why students are expected to study more subjects
to provide their main courses. For instance
, a college student with a business primary needs to learn systems that are related to business such
as management, accounting, finance, and even human resources. Furthermore
, in the future, when they become a businessman, they need to know the aspects of business processes that include those subjects
mentioned before.
In contrast
, others had different perspectives. They prefer to focus on studying according to
their degree to be more specific and utilize their time effectively. In this
case, I agree with this
statement because it is more crucial. It can be seen in reality that after graduating, numerous people found it hard to get a job since many companies nowadays prioritize people with specialization. In Indonesia, for example
, I saw many job vacancies looking for candidates with specific skills such
as digital marketing, web development, or data science, which are fields only done by experienced people. It means the experiences are only able by a man who knows how to operate specific tools.
To conclude
, even though there were many sciences that university students must study, and I believe it will give many benefits and great insights, focusing on specific objects is more essential in this
era because, in the end, they will work depending on the company’s need, not depend on how many subjects
had been learned.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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introduction conclusion present
Consider developing a clearer and more explicit introduction where your thesis statement outlines the subsequent discussion points.
complete response
Make sure to provide a balanced discussion on both views before introducing your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
Aim for a stronger conclusion that not only restates your opinion but also summarizes the key points made in the body paragraphs.
logical structure
Work on linking your ideas more cohesively using a wider range of connectors and topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea which is developed fully, with sufficient support and expansion to meet the task requirement.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your ideas are mostly clear, strive for more depth in expressing them, with comprehensive explanations and critical analysis.
relevant specific examples
Use a greater variety of specific examples to back up your points. Try to include case studies, statistical data, or authoritative quotes to enrich your argument.
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