IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

"Sometimes mass media can negatively influence people. What are the effects of it, and how the situation can be improved?"

In
contemporary era
Suggestion
the contemporary era
, mass media
has been
Suggestion
have been
 an indispensable part of human life and it is encountered in every point. There are several detrimental effects of intensive interaction with media. I will elaborate on what
this
Linking Words
 tendency leads and what attempts could have been taken to address potential complications. One main evidence of
dark side
Suggestion
the dark side
 of mass media is that it can be manipulated by malicious individuals. Throughout the ages it has been witnessed that press could be changed deliberately over radical groups’ intentions,
hence
Linking Words
 it influences citizens’ views and generates disbelief. Populace’s fortitude should be ready to confront difficulties under certain adverse circumstances, whilst the rampant spread of false information via news has the capacity to lead several dire ramifications,
such
Linking Words
 as rebellions in the streets. Urgent actions must be taken to combat these unwanted consequences. One effective solution is to educate
population
Suggestion
the population
 to follow merely officially accepted news channels, so as deter any misunderstanding caused by insubstantial information. It is manifest that without adequate education a person is very susceptible and can head where radicalism strives to lure people. The way forward might be to put stricter legislations by the government to prevent ominous purposes of malevolent powers. To bring news channels under the control and empower only reputable ones is the most efficient attempt to eradicate the undesirable influences. By way of conclusion, there are detrimental outcomes of the issue,
such
Linking Words
 as disbelief to the government and it can be tackled by more intensive education and rigid laws. If these solutions were implemented, its negative impact would not be inevitable.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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