IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The government should only spend money on enhancing the people life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #people #life
It is considered that the main purpose of the state is developing the
life
 of an individual.
However
, the issue is not entirely straightforward and arguments could be made against the idea. It seems to me that every action made by the
authority
 is related to enhancing the human's
life
,
although
 some areas should not be forgotten by the
authority
. Looking from one angle, those who support the idea that the regime should prioritize a
person
's
life
 explain
this
 there is not something that could be more valuable than individual
life
.
Hence
, it is necessary to provide more financial resources in order to improve each aspect of a
person
's
life
.
For instance
,
such
 social institutions as education, health care, and the justice system must be heavily subsidized just for enhancing of folk's existence.
Furthermore
, assistants of
this
 point of view claim that the more developed
person
's
life
, the better general
life
 in the world.
Nevertheless
, the opponents of
this
 idea point out that there are other areas that should be financed by the
authority
. Despite the value of the
person
's
life
, there are other species in the world which
also
 are considered not less valuable.
Therefore
 the government should not omit the environment and, without a doubt, should provide money for its improvement. Because of the enhancing of surroundings influence not only on one individual
life
 but
also
 for the
next
 generation in general. Overall, all in the world are related to each other and if the power will be focus just on one aspect of
life
, another might degrade and
this
 might affect an individual. For that reason, I strongly believe that the
authority
 should use money consciously and wisely.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: