IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Job
Use synonyms
 has been becoming
one
Use synonyms
 of the most important choices in people’s lives.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that people should settle down at the same
job
Use synonyms
 for the sake of
society
Use synonyms
 and companies, others believe that they should be encouraged to
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 frequently. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore both perspectives, and I think the latter view is more persuasive. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, those who advocate that remaining in the same occupation is conducive to
society
Use synonyms
 and the company argue that it will be a good opportunity to raise expertise for themselves. They will become experts by staying in
one
Use synonyms
 area, leading to an increase in salaries and better welfare.
For instance
Linking Words
, consider a doctor, which is deemed as a representative example of
specified
Correct article usage
a specified
show examples
 occupation. Doctors usually do not
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
, keep working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their specified areas.
Due to
Linking Words
 their specialities, patients used to trust them a lot and
society
Use synonyms
 desperately needs them.
This
Linking Words
 proves the prominence of becoming a professional individual in a specified area.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from my perspective, there are many reasons why individuals should
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 without sticking
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can improve themselves by trying to
change
Use synonyms
 their careers. If they keep trying to get a new
job
Use synonyms
 or
change
Use synonyms
 their companies, they may make efforts to increase their values
such
Linking Words
 as studying and more.
In addition
Linking Words
, people can broaden their perspectives. They can meet a lot of employees with different backgrounds, leading to the experience of listening to other thoughts and beliefs which are different from what they think. It will contribute to the success of self-improvement. In conclusion, I firmly believe that people should often
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
. These processes
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 individuals keep finding their interests and improving themselves will be helpful to
society
Use synonyms
 and companies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you've given an example of doctors, adding more diverse examples could further enhance your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider slightly varying your sentence structures to add complexity and flow to your essay.
Task Achievement
You've clearly introduced both views and concluded with your own opinion, which is commendable.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, aiding in reader understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career development
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • skill acquisition
  • adaptability
  • versatility
  • stagnation
  • expertise
  • specialization
  • workplace relationships
  • company culture
  • teamwork
  • cohesion
  • stability
  • continuity
  • long-term planning
  • mentor
  • unemployment rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: