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Band 3.5

In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
These days,
private
Correct article usage
the private
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sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to pay for and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 scientific research rather than
public
Correct article usage
the public
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sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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.
Although
 it is undeniable that it brings a number of advantages, I believe that it does more harm than good. On the one hand, there will be a number of advantages if private companies investigate scientific research.
It is clear that
 almost
private
Correct determiner usage
all private
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 enterprises can adapt to all necessary elements for
researching
Replace the word
research
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. Because they are independent
on
Change preposition
of
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 finance, they can supply the
state –of-the-art
Add a hyphen
state–of–the–art
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 equipment for consulting.
On the other hand
, I personally claim that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits when
private
Correct article usage
the private
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sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
 out scientific research. First of all, working for the government is the way to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
to
Change preposition
for
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 society. Since all results are used for the public, scientific workers can contribute to developing their nation.
For instance
, when the country is facing
with
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 epidemic, experimentation is needed before
spreading
Wrong verb form
it spreads
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 widely. If researchers worked in
public
Correct article usage
the public
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sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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, they would have a chance to devote
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
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 the community.
Secondly
, there are a lot of opportunities for scientists
in learning
Change preposition
to learn
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 when they work as public workers. Because of being a member of
governmental
Replace the word
government
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 companies, civil researchers are able to travel or study
in
Rephrase
apply
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abroad.
As a result
, they have a lot of chances to meet,
make
Correct word choice
and make
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 friends with other researchers in the world. Thanks to that, they can acknowledge as much valuable experience. In conclusion, even though there are a great deal of great assets when private enterprises investigate scientific exploration, I think that the cons outweigh the pros

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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