IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sport. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sport
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It is a highly debatable issue whether the government should spend money on
education
Use synonyms
 or on entertaining and sports. In my
opinion I
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opinion, I
am totally agree
Suggestion
totally agree
 with that; the government should give the
apriority
status established in order of importance or urgency
priority
 to the
education
Use synonyms
.
Success
Suggestion
Successful
education
Use synonyms
 is very important for
countries
Suggestion
countries'
country's
development
Suggestion
developers
developer
. It is lead to have an excellent
economy
Suggestion
economic
 system. Which gives the countries an opportunity to improve other fields
such
Linking Words
 as health care systems
,
Accept space
,
 commercial and manufacture. The countries
will provides
Suggestion
will provide
 a huge
verity
a collection containing a variety of sorts of things
variety
 and excellent opportunity of jobs in different specialist.
that
Suggestion
That
 will happen if they have a good
out comes
Suggestion
outcome
outcomes
 from the
education
Use synonyms
 system.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that, the salary of the employments will get higher and the
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 will be more comfortable
moreover
Linking Words
 the productivity will contribute in other activity
such
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 as the sport and recreation. To put it in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
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down, saying
 that
,
Accept space
,
education
Use synonyms
 is essential
,
Accept space
,
necessary and basement of successful country.
that
Suggestion
That
 leads in result to improve
other side
Suggestion
the other side
 of society needed and entertainment.
Submitted by vebiga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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