IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, a substantial amount of scientific
research
Use synonyms
 is funded and conducted by private corporations
instead
Linking Words
 of the government. Despite the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 trend, I would argue that its benefits are more considerable. On the one hand, one major disadvantage when a growing number of private companies are involved in scientific
research
Use synonyms
 projects is that the innovations or inventions might be commercialized. The main goal of these companies is to invest in profitable fields and earn profits.
Thus
Linking Words
, once scientists have come up with new medicines or drugs, these products might be sold at a higher price compared to those produced and sold by governmental bodies.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, makes these products inaccessible to a certain proportion of citizens, especially the impoverished, which gradually exacerbates the gap between the rich and the poor in society. Regardless of the demerit mentioned above, I suppose that it is negligible in comparison with some anticipated merits of
this
Linking Words
 development.
First,
Linking Words
owing to huge funding from companies in the private sector, scientific projects can be carried out effectively, and remarkable results can be expected in a shorter period.
Besides
Linking Words
, the scientists engaging in these projects can benefit from
this
Linking Words
 greatly thanks to higher remuneration packages and other benefits.
Second,
Linking Words
in some nations,
such
Linking Words
 as Vietnam, whose transparency in terms of funding for science and how the amount is allocated remains a major concern, a majority of citizens find it hard for the
research
Use synonyms
 to receive sufficient subsidies from the state,
thus
Linking Words
 unable to produce desirable results. In conclusion,
albeit
Change preposition
despite
show examples
 the potential of commercialization of science, it seems to me that the upsides of the participation of private organizations in scientific
research
Use synonyms
 make
this
Linking Words
 an advantageous and positive development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, it could be improved by ensuring that ideas transition smoothly from one to the next, thus enhancing the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The points in the essay are generally supported, but could benefit from more varied and detailed examples to illustrate the arguments more convincingly. This would strengthen the support for main points and provide a richer context.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt, but at times could be more explicit in making clear judgments about the advantages and disadvantages. Providing a more nuanced exploration of the task could further enhance your score.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed clearly but could be developed more comprehensively. Providing deeper insights and elaboration on each point would help to fulfill the task more completely.
task achievement
You present relevant examples, yet they are somewhat generic. Including more specific and varied examples would bolster your response and demonstrate an understanding of the subject that is both wider ranging and more profound.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: