Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause?

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In the modern world, many households contain working parents, leading to less leisure time to spend with their kids.

This

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essay will outline the factors of

such

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a pressing issue, followed by its negative consequences. To start with, there is no denying the fact that the cost of life has increased over the recent decades.

While

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one person cannot earn enough money for a decent living, his or her partner has no choice but to find a job.

For example

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, in Germany, people suffer because of the high taxes and fees.

Thus

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, both parents need to work, even though it results in reduced pastime.

Additionally

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, women's empowerment has played a crucial role in changing the social structure. As previously females were forced to stay at home, now they can build their careers successfully, coming up with new measures.

On the other hand

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, there are many challenges posed by

this

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trend.

Firstly

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, the behaviour and mental health of children are put in danger. Obviously, if a kid does not receive a sufficient amount of attention, he or she will suffer emotionally.

Furthermore

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, the relatives themselves lose their close relationships and connections.

As a result

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of these disruptions, the level of divorces climbs drastically.

For instance

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, the divorce rate has increased in the Russian Federation over the

last

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5 years. The situation even raises concerns within the government authorities, so they propose various measures for families to assist them financially. In conclusion, I can emphasize the fact that the younger population nowadays spends less time with their parents because of improved women's rights and higher costs of living.

Besides

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, it impacts society negatively by hurting kids' mental well-being and relationships' erosion.

Submitted by n.chubukina21 on Tue Dec 31 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

You are generally on track, but try to keep your arguments more interconnected, linking them smoothly from one to the next. This will help in maintaining a stronger and more cohesive flow throughout.

Task Achievement

Although your response is well-rounded, including a few more real-world examples could make your points even more vivid and convincing to the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and well-articulated, providing a solid framework for the essay.

Task Achievement

You have effectively tackled the essay prompt by discussing both the reasons and consequences of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause?

Your opinion

More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind , such as reading and doing word puzzles . Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time . Dicuss two views and give your opinion .

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In somes countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

You live in a small apartment building. You are frequently bothered by noise from your upstairs neighbor’s apartment. Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter: Describe the situation Explain why it is a problem for you Suggest a solution.