IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.

#museums #charge #admission #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many museums in the world have
Use synonyms
entry fee
Suggestion
an entry fee
entry fees
 while others do not charge. In my opinion, the museums represent the cultural heritage of a
country
Use synonyms
 and should have an entrance fee. There are several advantages of having an
entry
Use synonyms
 fee for the
museum
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the presence of
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 in a
country
Use synonyms
 reflects the cultural diversity of a particular nation and they cannot sustain themselves. The budget, which is earned from the
entry
Use synonyms
 fees can be utilised in the maintenance of the pieces of art which is not possible from government funding. Without
this
Linking Words
 money, the monuments placed in the
museum
Use synonyms
 will be destroyed by time, which is a huge loss for the nation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the money earned from
entry
Use synonyms
 fees can be utilised to pay the salary of staff working in the
museum
Use synonyms
. No one works for free in the present era.
Hence
Linking Words
, it will aid to improve the employment opportunities for local people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, abolishing the entrance fees may result in the art galleries and
Use synonyms
museum`s
Suggestion
the museum`s
 rely on the government's budget. Since these important pieces of art cannot be ignored, the government may have to make deductions in the budget allocated to more important fields like health and education. These are the fields which are important for a
country
Use synonyms
's prosperity which can
consequently
Linking Words
 affect the
country
Use synonyms
's economic development. Another possible disadvantage of free
entry
Use synonyms
 might be a large number of uninterested people visiting the museums. They will become overcrowded and create nuisance for others. The only way to keep the crowd to minimal is to have
entry
Use synonyms
 tickets. In conclusion, advantages of
entry
Use synonyms
 ticket in the form of monetary benefits and employment are much more comparable to some minor disadvantages it might have.
Submitted by eden2029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: