Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

In the modern world people can get a high status by different ways. Some people consider that personal skills
such
as hardworking is a main key to profit, whilst others feel that material facilities and good-looking are more prevent. Personally, I think that just a professionalism plays the
first
role in the achievement. I intend to delve into both points of view and performed the mine. On the one hand, wealth and appearance take not the
last
place in the society.
For example
, in the country
that is
full of corruption some rich people believe that they can get a higher position in the company with the help of capital and
also
dressing and beauty can be attractive and may have an enormous influence on the progress.
As a result
, the real personal skills and talent became useless in
such
kind of world.
On the other hand
, some people, including me, have the viewpoint which is against the
first
one.
For instance
, the inventor of well spread fast food restaurant KFC just because of his ambitious and hardworking character got a tremendous achievement and became a well-known person over the earth.
This
example shows how the person without having an enormous amount of money can reach the gain.
Thus personal
Accept comma addition
Thus, personal
skills and talents take an important part in a successful life. To conclude, the both points of view can exist in a modern community.
Although
I believe that in the future, just hard labour and determination will be outweigh the wealth.
Submitted by kotovaksu17 on

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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