Many people are opting for several careers as compared to a single career to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The

last

decades have witnessed an ever-increasing number of workers opting for securing multiple incomes rather than relying on one. Whilst committing to one employer has its benefits, having various

careers

in different workplaces could

also

be valuable. I largely concur with the assertion that being employed in several jobs is more profitable. First and foremost, changes in

job

market dynamics necessitate various

careers

for

skills

diversification and

job

security. In

this

sense, the changing era forces individuals to be able to gain flexibility in coping with the recent

job

demands.

Hence

, a number of workers decided to develop different

skills

to be able to secure different occupations to broaden their professional

skills

. It is

also

evident that certain individuals select various professions to pursue passions and interests beyond monetary gain.

In addition

, the gig economy supports the movement towards multiple

careers

, offering flexible earning opportunities. With yearly inflation, individuals are compelled to find ways to cope with the living

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

, resulting in them juggling different jobs notably during economic instability.

Furthermore

, maintaining multiple sources of income

also

provides them with a sense of security in the event of

job

loss. In essence, they would still be able to afford their expenses with the remaining jobs. Viewed as a whole, it is fair to assert that committing to multiple

careers

come

Correct subject-verb agreement

comes

show examples

with various benefits, including wide-ranging professional

skills

, multiple incomes and passion pursuit. On the basis of my observation, it is wise to opt for

this

strategy to gain these palpable benefits.

Submitted by a.wangsaatmaja on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure there is a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that outlines the main idea you will discuss. This helps in structuring your paragraphs more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Transitional phrases are used effectively, but you can improve the flow by varying your language more and avoiding repetition.

coherence cohesion

For a higher score, make sure your introduction includes a clear thesis statement and your conclusion effectively summarizes the points without introducing new information.

task achievement

You addressed the task and presented relevant ideas. For a higher score, develop your arguments further and provide more specific examples and details to support your points.

task achievement

Keep your ideas clear and develop them more comprehensively in order to create a more compelling argument. Avoid overly general statements and provide more specific information where possible.

task achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to substantiate your arguments and provide clearer examples. This will make your essay stronger and more specific.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

job market dynamics
skill diversification
technological advancements
income potential
gig economy
flexible opportunities
financial necessity
economic instability
insufficient wages
work-life balance
burnout
continuous learning
development
social pressure
peer pressure
career trajectory

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Many people are opting for several careers as compared to a single career to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Describe a challenging situation or an obstacle you encountered during your studies and elaborate on the steps you took to navigate through it. *

The effect of people to the environment is so much nowadays,what can the government and individuals do to restore or prevent further damage to the environment.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. QTo what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that media have the right to publish details of people's private lives, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.