Nowadays, online shopping has become more popular while some people argue in-store shopping would be better. To what extent do you agree?

#people

Many people prefer to buy their items from the internet

instead

to go to a shop.It is true that online shopping has a positive development

Accept space

but in my

oppinion there

Accept comma addition

opinion, there

opinion there

are a few negative parts in

this

behaviour.

First

of all, online shopping become so popular because it is easy to use and we can do shopping from our house standing in front of a laptop without not to be forced to go to a store.I think that can become very unhealthy because people forgot to socialise and to do physical activities and

this

can lead to a sedentary life.

Other

Suggestion

Another

negative factor of shopping online is that people are attract for many items

Accept space

clothes

for example

and tend to buy more than is

neededin

Suggestion

needed in

this

way people spend much money.

This

kind of shopping can become like an addiction.

Furthermore the internet

Suggestion

Furthermore, the internet

is not the safest place to do shopping because is a small risk of getting financial information by hackers. Taking everything into consideration

Accept space

online shopping has negative and positive

development

Suggestion

developed

developing

Accept space

However

the negative overweigh the positive.

Submitted by mioara81.p on Wed May 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

174 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
environmental standards
capacity
impacts
national sovereignty
independently
economic
social contexts
international consensus
legal
political systems
enforcement

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Nowadays, online shopping has become more popular while some people argue in-store shopping would be better. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.What are your opinions on this?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.