IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, the number of
people
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 who eat fast
food
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 is increasing, but a group of
people
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 believe that the industries of
this
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 kind of
food
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 impact a range of elements like the environment, eating habits and families. I subscribe to
this
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 idea owing to the fact that it produces a
lot
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 of trash and changes
people
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's lifestyles. On the one hand, when the population
use
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 convenient meals, they buy them with packaging
that is
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 made from not only plastic but
also
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 cartoon.
In other words
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, dish packages have a bad effect on the environment when in both generation processes they
use
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 a
lot
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 of energy and westing
due to
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 the fact that plastic, which does not recycle really fast and injures the wild animals, or cartoons, produced from the tree, so for making them we lose a number of trees.
On the other hand
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, if communities
use
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 homemade
food
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, they are healthy;
besides
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, have a good interaction with their families; in fact, they spend a
lot
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 of time with each other for making meals.
In addition
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, fast
food
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 has a
lot
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 of toxic ingredients that affect
people
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's health;
moreover
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, it has a
lot
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 of fat that increases the weight of the population who eat it a
lot
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.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, the best way that can help
people
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 to enjoy time with families , especially cooking time, lose weight, become healthy
people
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 without various illnesses that result from obesity, and keep their environment is they do not
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use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 convenient
food
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.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear argument, incorporating more specific examples related to environmental impact, eating habits, and family dynamics can further strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the clarity of your ideas, try to vary your sentence structures and use more transitional phrases to efficiently guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, presenting a clear opening stance and summarizing the argument.
task achievement
The essay covers all aspects of the prompt, expressing a comprehensive viewpoint of the negative impacts of fast food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental degradation
  • Carbon footprint
  • Supply chain processes
  • Livestock farming
  • Eating patterns
  • High-calorie, low-nutrient meals
  • Obesity
  • Familial bonds
  • Advertising
  • Fostering a culture
  • Long-term health implications
  • Affordability
  • Accessibility
  • Efficient service
  • Economic growth
  • Employment opportunities
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