Establishe good relationship in the workplace is not important as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. What extent agree or disagree with this statement.

There is a growing belief that sustaining harmonious relationships at work is not as crucial as personal goals. I firmly disagree with
this
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view
due to
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the benefits of fostering collaboration despite personal growth.
Initially
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, it is important to know that getting on with others may cultivate a cooperative workplace culture.
In other words
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, if employees keep building strong bonds between themselves and their colleagues, they will inspire and uplift others to give their best efforts at work by giving mutual support which may enhance team morale.
As a result
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, being team-oriented and collaborative may lead to improved productivity and efficiency, and
then
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result in higher organizational revenue.
Moreover
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, when people encounter difficulties, especially multidisciplinary tasks, supportive attitudes from everyone will help them completely overcome the troubles.
However
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, focusing on individual objectives may help personnel develop themselves. To clarify, if workers value their own targets, they will be promoted by intrinsic motivation to achieve more by sharpening their skills
as well as
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broadening their knowledge which may help them gain more promotion prospects.
However
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,
this
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perception overlooks the importance of teamwork and interpersonal involvement, which are fundamental to conceiving greater success for individuals as a whole.
Furthermore
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, the desire for individual goals may lead to a lack of essential qualities at work -
such
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as empathy, kindness and integrity - which may facilitate competitiveness and immoral actions like corruption. In conclusion, I strongly disagree as establishing good relationships in the workplace yields benefits of cooperation which is more substantial than personal achievements.

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task achievement
Strengthen the examples by providing specific scenarios or case studies to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions clearly to the next to enhance flow.
task achievement
Include a clearer explanation of how personal goals can disrupt teamwork.
coherence and cohesion
Add a brief summary of the benefits of good relationships in the conclusion.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the statement.
coherence and cohesion
You have organized your ideas logically with clear paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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