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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say taxes should be spent on healthcare; others think more priorities should be invested in.

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Introduction
Recently there has been much interest in gaining a better understanding of the effective approach to utilize public
money
Use synonyms
. Some feel that investment should be given the highest priority among other considerations.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with those who believe that the government must invest tax
money
Use synonyms
 into improving healthcare facilities. In
this
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 essay, I will provide the rationale for both viewpoints as well as adduce all the arguments which might support my own opinion.
Body paragraph 1
They who espouse the former opinion claim that
Use synonyms
money
Suggestion
monetary
 investment can bring revenue for the country. The proponents of
this
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 view maintain that when the government spends
money
Use synonyms
 into various sources,
such
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 as stock market, export business, etc., they will earn more
money
Use synonyms
 that can be spend toward improving not only
health
Use synonyms
care but
Accept comma addition
care, but
also
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 other public services namely education and transportation. Maybe there is some truth in
this
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 claim, and some empirical evidence can be provided to support it. To cite an example, Dubai. Despite
health
Use synonyms
 concerns of their citizens, the authorities still invested in
crud
not carefully or expertly made
crude
 oil business to earn
money
Use synonyms
. They gained a significant amount of revenue and improve many services ranging from infrastructure to public
health
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, one can argue that there is more to the story than
this
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 example represents. Personally, I firmly believe that the government official should utilize taxpayers’
money
Use synonyms
 towards healthcare facilities because it will uplift the
health
Use synonyms
 condition for local people. It goes without saying that many developing nations around the world, up to
this
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 day, do not have adequate medical facilities and equipment to perform
surgical operation
Suggestion
surgical operations
a surgical operation
. Due to
this
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, many people are suffering from various diseases,
such
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 as cholera, Covid-19, that could have been treated with ample medical facilities. I am hardly alone in
this
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 view. A 2007 study,
for instance
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, conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that those countries which have invested heavily
on
Suggestion
in
 healthcare facilities have
greater longevity ratio
Suggestion
a greater longevity ratio
 compared to other nations that focus on generating revenue.
Conclusion
To sum up,
although
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for
Suggestion
in
 some countries the tax
money
Use synonyms
 investment can bring more
money
Use synonyms
 that could be
utilize
Suggestion
utilized
 later to improve
health
Use synonyms
 care services, I still hold to the opinion that
first
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 priority should be given to improve the
health
Use synonyms
 condition of the citizen by investing
into
Suggestion
in
 medical services.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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