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Band 7

With the rapid advancement of communication technology such as smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #communication #technology #phones #tablets #devices #people
It is often argued that many technological devices are necessary to live our life better. Some people might think that very fast development of communicating devices has more cons than the pros.
Although
 the number of devices is comfortable to handle, I strongly agree with that idea.
This
 essay will address the perspective of the negative sides of the communication technology.
First
 of all, it may affect people’s social behaviour.
In other words
, when individuals are addicted to using these electronic things, their lifestyle would be deteriorated due to containing of some side effects
such
 as addiction or violence.
For example
, when young people overuse very harmful resources on smartphone
such
 as aggressive videos or advertisements, their social attitude would be
worse like
Accept comma addition
worse, like
 bullying others because some of them are not mature to decide their movement.
Therefore
, these latest devices may be not suitable for some people who do not determine their behaviour properly.
Moreover
, it
also
 leads people’s life isolated. When the majority of individuals tend to focus on the modern technologies rather than real talk in the community, they might
do not
Accept comma addition
do, not
 interact with each
other
Accept comma addition
other, such
such
 as families or friends because it seems like connecting to one of the causes above, addiction.
For instance
, they may do not prefer the face-to-face conversation because it is available to talk in the mobile apps
such
 as Facebook, so people’s lifestyle will be going to be more isolated.
Thus
, our society would be
gone
Suggestion
going
 away by the disconnection of the interaction. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that some technologies are really useful nowadays, we need to encourage individuals to escape handling it because of some personal issues.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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