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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation，such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

#people #situation，such #job #lack #money #situations
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In contemporary society, how to face the dilemma in life has consistently been a topic of interest among the masses. Some individuals champion that the best way is to accept it,
while
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 a significant number of others posit that the clever way is to improve it by actively working.
While
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 there are compelling arguments in favour of both perspectives, there are
also
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 significant reasons to approach them with scepticism. And I lean more toward the latter, as I believe actions speak louder than words. On the one hand, there is little doubt that it is easier to just accept every unsatisfaction situation and not come out with any solutions. It is hard to improve one's working skills and learning abilities in a short time,
not to mention
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 if the problem is based on people's attitudes. Through the whole process of changing and improving, people would have a possibility to increase more bothering questions. It is
therefore
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 reasonable why some people claim that doing nothing and accepting it is the best reaction.
On the other hand
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, the aforementioned perspective overlooks the only person who can help individuals to reach high-quality lives is themselves. I believe the most effective and fastest method that can aid individuals going through every problem is to try to change a bad habit and behaviour step by step,
this
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 is a kind of self-improvement approach. To elaborate, comedians in Taiwan used to live in a terrible working environment, they were all suffering from low salaries, lack of rest time and numerous jibes
on
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
however
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, one of them
starts
Wrong verb form
started
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 to upload every segment of
performances
Correct pronoun usage
their performances
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 on YouTube and fortunately hits the trend. Recently, comedians become a new indicator of success in Taiwan.
Such
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 instances challenge the initial assertion and suggest that humanity has the right to control our own destiny only if we start behaviours to improve difficulties. In conclusion, reflecting upon both arguments that support different methods of facing an unsatisfaction situation,
while
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 staying in an unpleasant condition can reduce risks and be more comfortable, it is crucial to acknowledge that only when a person tries a self-improvement method, the dilemma will be solved or disappear. Given these considerations, my allegiance that attempting an improvement approach is a better way is steadfastly consolidated and remains incontrovertibly firm.
Submitted by jasmine2001tw on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on logically sequencing ideas throughout the essay. Use appropriate cohesive devices to show the relationships between ideas clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim to develop each paragraph with a single clear idea that is well-supported with specific examples or explanations.
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Be sure to fully answer all parts of the question. Ensure that the conclusion aligns with the content discussed in the body paragraphs.
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Include specific examples to support your arguments, and ensure they are directly relevant to the topic and illustrate the point you are making in a clear manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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