IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

“Prevention is better than cure.” Out of country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that the
country
Use synonyms
 should be allocating the
health
Use synonyms
 budget for
health
Use synonyms
 education and
prevention
Use synonyms
measures
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of treatment as it is crucial . In my opinion , I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view for several reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
prevention
Use synonyms
measures
Use synonyms
 brings tremendous benefits for individuals and the government . One of the main advantages is maintaining
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are influenced by their
country
Use synonyms
's efforts to keep their well-being and they will be much aware of potential risks .
For example
Linking Words
 , when the government invests in the
health
Use synonyms
 sector like setting up gyms throughout the
country
Use synonyms
 and reducing the high cost of healthy food ,
as a result
Linking Words
, it will create a healthy community.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , putting
money
Use synonyms
 on
prevention
Use synonyms
measures
Use synonyms
 , not only encourages
people
Use synonyms
 to stay healthy but
also
Linking Words
, saves the government's budget.
For instance
Linking Words
 , when someone needs a transplant heart it might cost a lot but when they put it before
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 gets worse , it will save the
country
Use synonyms
's budgets
.
Correct your spelling
In
in addition
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 method will help the
country
Use synonyms
 to develop other aspects like infrastructure and education
due to
Linking Words
 saving
money
Use synonyms
 .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , it is essential to care about
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 whether before they get sick or after.
However
Linking Words
 , I believe that
prevention
Use synonyms
measures
Use synonyms
 are more important to take into consideration than treatment . Because as much as you pay to reduce the number of suffering
people
Use synonyms
 you save lots of
money
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and clearly articulated. Some points can be elaborated further, providing more depth to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving transitions between your points to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help maintain the reader's understanding and engagement.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammatical accuracy and punctuation in sentences, especially with compound sentences, to improve clarity and precision.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • preventative measures
  • health education
  • quality of life
  • early detection
  • prognoses
  • health budget
  • informed choices
  • adequate resources
  • long-term investment
  • mitigates
  • empowers
  • incidence of illness
  • healthcare budget allocation
  • unpredictability in health issues
What to do next:
Look at other essays: