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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos games & other types of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think problem can be tackled?

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The children are affected and credulous by any kind of violence or strong mediums. They do not separate a real world or a virtual world,
then
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 have an illusion that they feel like could do anything in the real. The children are getting used to using the internet since they were an infant. Because they could play a computer, TV, and a
game
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 player even 2-3 years old
child
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 would watch YouTube. The internet society is a commonplace for them. A
child
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, especially boys, tend to prefer a violent
game
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 and a combat program and are absorbed them. They would misunderstand as a
game
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, doing violence to someone and they may be related to a serious crime. One of cases, a
child
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 has killed his friend, but he did not feel guilty or sad, because he just played as a
game
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 character.
However
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, it is impartial that the children are left away from the internet society, using a computer, a
game
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 player and watching TV.
Therefore
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, their parents have to regard to own children what they
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use
Suggestion
are used
 for.
For example
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, the parents and a
child
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 could plan how many hours can
use
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 a day or do not
use
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 before bed.
Secondly
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, the parents restrict a range of network what they can watch and play.
In addition
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, to urge that playing at outside with friends and communicate face to face with a
child
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. The children are helpful to aware between a real or a virtual. In conclusion, in
this
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 network society, how
use
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 an electron properly is important for the children. I think that the parents should observe the children and their joy.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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