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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that teachers should not give homework to the school students. Others, however, contradict and consider that it is necessary for their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Homework
Use synonyms
 is concentrated as a common phenomenon, which many schools provide; several people believe that
homework
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 should not be given to pupils,
however
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, others think differently; they believe that
homework
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 is a vital factor in improving their skills. From my perspective, I believe that
homework
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 should be available for students to make them proficient in their lessons;
in contrast
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, it should not put them under pressure
as well as
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 prevent them from many activities in their leisure
time
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.
This
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 essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives. On the one hand, leisure
time
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 for many parents is essential to discharge their energy, particularly in school
time
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.
In other words
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, they believe that spending their free
time
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 doing
homework
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 is going to affect negatively their mental health,
while
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 if they waste it on extracurricular activities, certainly parents and teachers will notice the difference in their mentality and even their level at school.
For example
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, many students are suffering from early diseases
such
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 as high blood pressure. When the scientists did their research, they found that the core reason is that most of them are facing many challenges and complications through school
time
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, which impacts badly on their bodies.
On the other hand
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, promoting education significantly improves their skills in schools and even in their lives. It is
also
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 possible to say that several people believe that achieving tasks in their free
time
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, even if they are tiny, will definitely appear in the future.
For example
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, if you look at successful people's lives, you will find that when they were young, spent their free
time
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 doing
homework
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 and studying all the
time
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. In conclusion,
homework
Use synonyms
 should be meaningful and purposeful, rather than simply a repetitive task, so a balanced approach is necessary.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points raised in the essay are explored with equal depth and clarity. The argument for homework improving skills is slightly less developed than the opposite view.
coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs for enhanced flow. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly related to the points being discussed. This will make your argument more persuasive and tangible.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively outlines the two opposing views and states the writer's opinion, which is excellent for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay acknowledges both perspectives thoughtfully and concludes with a balanced opinion, demonstrating a mature approach to the topic.
supported main points
There is a good attempt to integrate real-world examples to support the argument, which enhances the credibility of the stance.
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