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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing.

#countries #weight #people #level #health #fitness
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Notwithstanding the significant number of countries have dozens of health problem relating to overweight. Following
this
Linking Words
, the lack of active
Use synonyms
life styles
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyles
 threats people’s health. The origins of
this
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 situation seem to stem from two essential factors while several remedies appear to be open to us. The escalating consumption of unhealthy
food
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 and the sedentary
life
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 destroy keeping fit and staying active.
Initially
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, junk
food
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 is a mouth-watering production, which involves people, especially juveniles grabbing always. The most time fast
food
Use synonyms
 is considered perishable with artificial additives.
For instance
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, The young generation continually purchase quick-prepared meal,
such
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 as pizza, hamburger whereby permanent usage of it would make not event unfitting, as well as heart diseases.
Secondly
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, it is universally accepted that the significant number of workplaces is run by inactive content. It means workers are limited the sedentary
life
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, they do not have opportunities to work out fitness or to take up sport.
For example
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, a typical officer's endeavour is to answer phones and print documents. In the result, after 8 hours hard-working they could just go and sleep in his/her home. To counteract these dangers, government and companies should cooperate for initiatives. At the top of everything, unhealthy
food
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 advertisements should be enforced strict censorship by local power. Parallel, people have to be informed the detrimental impact of dangerous-take-away
food
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. Another remedy may be to expand the sport, fitness centres to attract people keeping fit. In the same regard, companies should subsidy leisure time for people who work with.
Consequently
Linking Words
, fast feed consumption and sedentary
life
Use synonyms
 take lead damaging the health and body shape as the main causes. Curbing junk meat products, encouraging people to exercise may outweigh the roots of the issue.
Submitted by gismetaliyeva on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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