Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment

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Throughout the past few decades,

music

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has been recognized as a unique language by everyone, and it is the soul of a universal. In

this

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regard, while some people claim that

music

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is just

entertainment

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, others are of the opinion that

music

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has various functions for society. I believe that

music

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can boost relationships as well as hope and friendship between people. On the one hand, it is argued that

music

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is a global language and can connect people to gather together regardless of their cultural background or age. In

this

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regard, people from different generations can share the same passion for the same song.

For example

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, when society encounters a tough situation or grave problem

such

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this

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pandemic virus that put many people around the world in a stressful condition, people can share their hope and sending positive energy to another by singing a particular song.

Furthermore

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music

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is not only the best source of

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entertainment but

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entertainment, but

also

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can have

further

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purposes. Today, many charities are using

music

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to provide money and aid for poor people.

For example

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, it can be seen all around the world substantial sums of money are raised for charity by holding a live concert.

On the other hand

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music

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is the best source of

entertainment

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and can put people in different moods. When people come home after a hectic day, they need some fun and

entertainment

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, so they play

music

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, and it calms them and feels relaxed.

Also

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music

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is used by many people to change their mood. If they felt sad or frustrated, playing

music

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would give them energy and make them feel better. Only in

this

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way can some people get energy and feel cheerful.

Furthermore

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music

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entertainment

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can boost people’s enthusiasm.

Music

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is an intrinsic part of every party and ceremony. It is hard to imagine a party without some

music

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. There is mountain scientific evidence that shows

music

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can influence people’s minds, and it can increase brain activities. In conclusion,

although

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in recent years

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music mainly

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music, mainly

been related to

entertainment

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, I believe that

music

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is a unique language that can be understood by everybody. Having come from people’s souls,

music

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able to improve the relationship between people.

Submitted by maryamshakibaii141 on Thu May 14 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?