IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful to the studying process

#people #technology #study #tool #process
Nowadays Some people think machinery is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others,
however
, believe that it is harmful to the studying process.It is undeniable that automation has significantly developed and strongly affected various life aspects, including education. It has clearly brought about many benefits of studying.
First
 of all the cyberspace can help students to do more research and can help them to provide information than before.All old and new information in different fields can be easily accessed by a simple click.
This
 is an invaluable help for students to do greater research and gain profound understanding.
Moreover
, the development of machinery has pushed back the frontier of studying. Education in recent days means not only traditional studying at school, but
also
 online studies and homeschooling thanks to the help of the internet. One the other hand World Wide Web can cause negative on your studying.The main disadvantage associated with the increasing use of automation in education is students being dependent on these machineries. The available reference source on the cyberspace may cause the laziness, negligence and
also
 kill creativity. In conclusion, while machinery is beneficial to studying,
such
 as extending the limits of knowledge we can access, some still feel that young people should not be over-dependent on it.
However
, as far as I'm concerned, impacts of automation are clearly positive and definitely should be encouraged.
Submitted by kimsong.mak.7991417 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: